Thyme For Bunnies/1996

Thyme For Bunnies/1996
Rabbits Belong in Frying Pans

Thyme For Bunnies

1996                                   Rabbits Belong In Frying Pans




“I believe that fluffy bunny rabbits belong, not caged up in some kid's messy, stinky bedroom, but in stew pots, or in frying pans, with thick mustard sauces, ground nutmeg, crumbled bacon, pearl onions and crushed thyme.”








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     Some animal rights people are angry again. This time, they're fuming about a planned Easter bunny rabbit hunt to be held for children in Belen.

     The rabbit lovers say they are appalled that children will be allowed to chase bunnies around a rodeo arena and catch them and take the fluffy things home and keep them as pets.

     I'm with the animal rights people on this one. I am horrified, and angered that children would be allowed to so misuse rabbits.

     I believe that fluffy bunny rabbits belong, not caged up in some kid's messy, stinky bedroom, but in stew pots, or in frying pans, with thick mustard sauces, ground nutmeg, crumbled bacon, pearl onions and crushed thyme.

     Since the kids don't know how to treat rabbits, the chase should be canceled. But the children shouldn't be deprived of a good time. So I say give them sticks and let them chase animal rights activists around the rodeo arena.

     And when the kids catch the activists, they should beat them senseless.

     The animal rights movement has gotten so out of hand lately that it is an affront to common sense, logic and life. You can't even think these days of keeping an animal as a pet, let alone sautéing one, without getting hateful scowls from animal rights people.

     The activists, in this case, Mary Morrison of the House Rabbit Society, have moaned that the rabbits might suffer heart attacks or broken backs during the chase.

     That's possible, but unlikely.

     In the wild, rabbits are chased by coyotes, foxes, wolves, snakes and other predators that want a meal. I even saw one Wild America show (On PBS, tsk.) where a rabbit was chased for at least five minutes by an animal with big, sharp teeth that wanted to eat it.

     The rabbit dodged the hungry animal and huffed and puffed and eventually escaped. And guess what? It didn't keel over with pains shooting down its left foot.

If the rabbit didn't collapse from being chased by something that was going to eat it alive, I doubt that one would pop an artery while being chased by giggling children.

     The chase's sponsors said that no rabbits have been injured over the event's several year history. But that's not good enough for the activists. This case shows how illogical and overbearing activists have become over the whole animal rights issue. Every action, no matter how innocent, is considered animal abuse. And of course, every creature needs to be saved from extinction.

     The latest Audubon Magazine has an article about how the feds have gone after some people who were poaching butterflies. As it turns out, some butterflies that are on an endangered species list.

   Bugs and other insects are also considered endangered. Do we really need to be protecting absolutely every creature on the planet? Pretty soon it'll be a crime to swat a mosquito off your arm.

     A couple of years ago, the feds prosecuted a woman because she had picked up feathers from an endangered bird species that had fallen in her yard.

     Not only do the attitudes of the animal rights people offend me, but I think even God has to be wondering about them.

     The activists should remember that Jesus and his buddies were fishermen. They ate fish. That means they had to catch and kill them. And they caught the fish in crude nets that undoubtedly caused untold agony to the gilled creatures.

     So what, they had to eat.

     I have no problem with banning cock, dogfights and other sick events. But the animal rights people nowadays oppose everything you do to or with an animal, whether it be chasing a bunny around a ring or shooting a few old toothless buffalo that are near death.

     According to these people, about the only thing you can do with an animal is put it up in a plush condo and give it a pension.

     But I do have some compassion for the activists. They shouldn't be beaten. Instead, the children should take them home, put them in cages and feed them endangered butterflies and other bugs.


© Copyright 2003 Dennis Domrzalski All rights reserved